Posted by: katedaphne | December 18, 2009


OMG what a damn day. Got to hospital at 6:30 a.m. to visit babygirl before she was taken to surgery, and to discuss the plan with the surgeon. The timing of this procedure got moved up so much so quickly we still had many questions, although we were in agreement to go ahead. At last all was ready and they took her back and we were sent to a waiting room.  We were to get hourly updates, but the beeper buzzed after only 30 minutes.

They had gotten her completely prepped — IVs in, under anesthesia and asleep, breathing tube in — when a doc tipped her head back and noticed the redness in the folds of her fat little neck had progressed: the skin was actually broken. Meaning there was a chance it could be infected. And with her on the heart-lung machine during surgery, that contaminated blood could get sent to her whole body, completely infecting her whole self and adding dramatically to the risk of DEATH. Needless to say, the surgery was off.

I am so livid. She did not have an open wound when I put her in the hospital a week ago! And yes, the folds of her neck are VERY deep and hard to see, let alone clean. But isn’t she in an INTENSIVE CARE UNIT? Cannot they manage one baby’s neck? WTF? Now her surgery, which she desperately needs, has to be delayed until her skin can heal. Looking at a new surgery date between Christmas and New Years. Trying to get them to let her come home and wait, but it depends on her condition next week.

Spent the whole day in emotional and mental overdrive. First awaiting the surgery, later dealing with the docs and nurses and getting answers, and halping care for the little peanut, who now has to go thru the anesthesia and IVs, etc, all over again. Today was a horrible day for her and I am so mad on her behalf. It is very much like the IF crap we have had to deal with — cancelled cycles, arguing with docs about which protocol or how many to transfer, etc. It feels like my life is running in a never-ending loop. Events and emotions just keep repeating themselves. Not only can nothing ever be easy, but even the hard stuff can;t just be hard. No, it has to be RIDICULOUS.

Luckily, my IF experience has taught me how to handle people in the medical field so I felt very comfortable talking to who I needed to talk to and questioning who I needed to question, confronting those who needed confronting, and demanding from those who were in a position to give the baby something I felt she needed. I used to be a bit less aggressive on my own behalf, more what-will-be-will-be. But not now.

It’s all very tiring though. Left the hospital at 6:30 pm, after 12 hours on the go there. I left the other twin with my mom tonight so I could eat some comfort food for dinner (mac and cheese, tomato soup), sleep and recharge. Tomorrow the struggle begins anew.



  1. I do not know what to say – it is unbelievable, unfair, terrible that something like this is happening for one thing and then in addition was not noticed before starting the whole procedure. However, still good that somebody realized at the last moment before it would increase the risk of the surgery.
    I am sorry – my best wishes to you.

  2. I would be livid too. I’m so sorry for you and the babe. ((HUGS))

  3. Oh Kate, I’m so so sorry. That is shockingly unfair. Hugs.

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