Posted by: katedaphne | May 18, 2009

Blog update from Kate’s friend, Sunshine24

Hi everyone! I know how frustrating it is when you love reading a blog but there hasn’t been an update in awhile, so I offered to update on Kate’s behalf. (Also, to put who I am in context: I am the one who lives in NY that Kate stayed with, and we both did our DE Cornell cycles at the same time. I’m also the one who unfortunately lost our 20 week son, D.I.J. and Kate so amazingly wrote about it on her blog and I was taken aback by all of your comments, so since I have the “floor” here, I’d really like to thank each and everyone one of you for your comments and thoughts. I read all of them here on her blog.) Now, back to Kate….

Kate’s been going to her regular OB appointments, and Baby B (“M”) is still fine. However, at last week’s appointment, Baby A’s (“A”) ultrasound showed that unfortunately, some more heart damage had occurred. Not what they wanted to hear. I won’t get into specific details unless Kate wants to later, but the good news is that even though there was some blockage, other parts were working just fine. It was just a huge shock for them, as there were no signs of this blockage previously.

For now, A is still showing full cardiac function, and they not moving to treat. If things get worse, Kate will go on a medicine that will help A, but somehow not affect either Kate or M, which is kind of cool. The other concern, of course, is what happens if something were to happen to A and how would it affect M? Kate is just at the point of viability if M had to be delivered, but of course we want to keep her in as long as possible. So, we really have to watch 1) A’s cardiac function on a weekly basis to keep a very close eye on it, and 2) how the twins are affecting each other, and have a plan in place in case pre-term labor should occur, how to keep M as safe as possible for as long as possible, and trying to deal with a possible reality that if A is born pre-maturely, we all know her chances of survival.

So, as you can imagine, Kate is extremely overwhelmed right now, and just trying to get through each day. It’s tough. We are all thinking of her and wishing all 3 of them well, and if Kate wants me to, I’m happy to continue to update you guys via this blog, so she doesn’t have to deal with it and put down in words all this stuff.

If you want to get in touch with me, I am on IVFC under “Sunshine24” and feel free to PM me.
(And, again, a thousand thanks to all of you on here who reached out to me when we lost our son (it was IVF #8 for us.) I’ll never forget it.




  1. Sunshine, thanks for the update. I’m so sorry to hear about your loss but glad to see that you and Kate have such a strong bond.

    Sending all of my good thoughts to A, as well as to M and Kate.

  2. Sunshine – I just wanted to say again how sorry I am for you and your family. Thanks so much for posting and letting us know how you are.

    Thinking of Kate and hoping both babies do well, it is amazing the things they can do now and hopefully something can help baby A. I hope she is able to just chill and take care of her babies’ mom.

  3. Sunshine, I too am so sorry for your loss.

    Thanks for the update. I hope things with A turn out well and that Kate gets the support and love she needs at this difficult time.

  4. Thank you for posting the update, I’ve been checking regularly and growing more concerned each day. I can’t imagine the stress of knowing your growing baby needs help. I hope this story has a happy ending.

    Sorry for your loss, Sunshine.


  5. Thanks for the update Sunshine. I am so very sorry for your loss. You think you are (finally!) on your way and then fate sucker punches you. I don’t mean to sound trite either – we lost a son at 27 weeks although it was before our 4 failed IVF cycles.

    Thanks for the update on Kate. Please keep them coming. I will be keeping Kate, her hubby and the kids in my thoughts.

  6. So glad to hear the update, I have been wondering how Kate and the babies are. Please pass on my best wishes. Will keep them all in my thoughts and prayers.

  7. Thank you so much for updateing on behalf of Kate, Sunshine. I’ve often hoped no news was good news, and am saddened to hear of this setback. You’re all in my thoughts…



  8. Thinking of you Kate and praying for your baby A’s heart, and for Baby M to continue to stay in as long as possible.

    Sunshine, sorry for your loss. Thanks for the update.

  9. Thank you!

  10. thank you so much for doing an update. I am so sorry for the loss of your son and for all the crappy IVF you have had to go thru without the perfect outcome you deserve, I had to give up after 5 series and then went onto to a hard adoption, but all that is past now. We will be sending lots of goods thoughts in hopes that the babies stay strong and canhold off being delivered.

  11. Here from LFCA, I send my best to both of you and your babies too.

  12. Thanks so much for the update–please send her my best!
    And Sunshine, I am so very sorry for your loss…sending lots of hugs to both of you.

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