Posted by: katedaphne | March 9, 2009

You can take the girl out of the IF, but you can’t take the IF out of the girl

Now then. Let me just say, the Baby Expo is NOTHING compared to going into the regular mall and into the maternity clothes store and buying a pair of maternity pants — and EXITING THE STORE carrying a shopping bag that screams “MOTHERHOOD” on both sides in 700 point type.

Oh. My. God.

So, I still haven’t gained much actual weight. But this weekend I sort of “popped” a little, and today I think I popped more. As in, I think I am noticeably fatter now than when I got dressed this morning. I wore my favorite grey work slacks. They were a tad snug but perfectly comfortable this morning. By late this afternoon I could barely sit in my chair. I ended up leaving work early and going straight to the mall. (No, it isn’t bloat. I never bloat. Not while PMSing, not on my period, not while cycling….)

It’s kind of sad how after a person has been traumatized as much as I — and most of you — have been, how defensive you get. All the way thru the mall I was rehearsing what I was going to say if the sales clerk was rude or mean or condescending or made me feel awkward in any way. I wanted to be prepared. Happily, although I got a clerk who was 18 years old (“I had my baby at 16!” grrr) she was perfectly nice and helpful. I did NOT want to browse, so I told her I needed pants and to bring me some that I could try on. She did, I did — and once I had a pair on, I told her no freaking way was I putting those other slacks back on, she could cut the tags off these and I’d wear them home, thank you very much. And I did.

But hooo-boy did I have the heebie-jeebies as I left the store, old slacks (and new baby free gift) in “Motherhood” shopping bag.  I also bought a few things at Ann Taylor Loft (a few sizes up from my usual) and I stuffed the Motherhood bag into that one. Felt a little better.

I also ordered a bella band online today, it arrives Wednesday. Yes, I was so uncomfortable I paid $8.95 for second-day shipping.

And by most people’s standards I do not even look prr…. prreggg…. yes, it is still hard to say… I don’t even look pregnant. I am naturally what they call “petite,” which is to say, my stomach used to be concave. (Please don’t hate on me, I have plenty of other problems, I promise, and have the utmost sympathy for those who gain weight on fertility meds, whcih sucks. Me, I just get all-over-the-face disgusting acne….) So yeah, though it looks kinda pathetic to YOU, *I* can tell it’s a baby bump! So can Mike, and my mom. So it must be real.

In other evidence that you can take the girl out of the IF but you can’t take the IF out of the girl…

It’s been three weeks sincew my last checkup, and I am seriously jonesing for a scan. I can’t GO this long without an ultrasound, people. I’m doing a little better in that I am not completely convinced Thing 1 and Thing 2 are dead. But I am very jittery. I need some comfort.

My next appointment is not until a week from THURSDAY. That’s for-freaking-ing EVER. So. I’ve been trying to figure out what symptoms I can “manifest” that are serious enough to get me a quick emergency scan, but not so severe to land me in the hospital or require me to show actual blood or anything.

How sick is that?

Don’t worry, I’m not going to call and fake anything. I can wait 10 lousy days for an ultrasound. But oh man…. this is HARD.

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Responses

  1. Yeah it’s hard to go without scans, we are at 5w3d and i so want a scan every day! oh well one day at a time (I will be going to baby expo, but, never to maternity stores as I won’t be needing maternity clothes).
    congrats on the first maternity purchase!

  2. This might be the most upbeat post I’ve ever read from you. I love it.

  3. This I think is my favorite all time post from you. You may be saying, WTF? I swear, I love it! Had me laughing and i just pictured you stuffing that Motherhood bag in the Ann Tyalor one, priceless! Do let us know if you get in for a scan before the scheduled one, LOL!!!

  4. I never made it that far in our 5 cycles, but I would be feeling the same way. I ended up freaking out alot and getting some extra scans int he beginning, so I am very impressed you are somehow holding it together and waiting, see thats will power, or something like that.

  5. Lol. I would have been the same way at the mall.
    Hope your 10 days go by quickly.

  6. When I hit 10 weeks, I rented a fetal doppler. It saved me between scans and appointments. I’m almost weaned off of it now. (I see the Dr every 2 weeks and an u/s every 4 – it “should” keep me sane)

  7. Glad you finally got some relief from your pants!

  8. Ahh . . . the maternity clothes shopping. Strange times, for sure.

    I was happy to have an appointment every two weeks between my ob and midwife. I completely understand!

    Now that DE is working so well and so quickly for you, how do you feel about the process you went through to get here?


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