Posted by: katedaphne | May 27, 2008


Wow, I have a new record of blog hits in a day and many many wonderful comments. What a wonderful — well, I hate the word “community”, but what a wonderful POSSE I am privileged to be a part of.

Thank you all for visiting me and supporting me through comments or even just lurking. My goal is to get back with every single commenter (and NaComLeavMo is a great time for all this, I get credit for doing what I would do anyway!) but it may take me a few days, I only have a little time for blogs in the evening (I can lurk at work but can’t write or comment much there…)

We are still taking tiny steps at this point. Mike called the FET coordinator at Cornell and I emailed my doc. No responses today; no surprise. We will just follow through methodically. And my mom works in a law office so if we need a friendly (ha!) letter on lawyer’s stationary we have someone who will likely be able to help us. Those of you who noted we are not the suing type are correct. But we want answers and we want to be sure procedures are created or followed so no other embryos suffer this fate.

p.s. — Do y’all think it is bad that I am not using a pseudonym for this clinic? But then, my identity is not secret either since my story went in the newspaper. And I try to never say anything here I wouldn’t say to anyone’s face…



  1. When my friends went through that mess with their clinic, they didn’t go full speed ahead with a lawyer, either. I think Sarah’s MIL’s friend was a lawyer and he just gave them friendly advice on what to do and say. It took a couple of months for things to work out for them, but they were able to accomplish a lot just by following the suggestions given to them. They weren’t really the suing types either, but they had to put on a brave game faces.

    I don’t think it’s bad that you’re not using a pseudonym – facts are facts. 🙂

  2. I agree with Kymberli. Facts are facts. You aren’t badmouthing them. Just telling your story.

  3. Ha! I love it. I’ve always wanted to be part of a posse!
    I think little tiny steps are fine – a letter on legal letterhead might be more than enough to give them the message.
    And you haven’t said anything outrageous or libelous, so it won’t matter that you’re not using a pseudonym.

  4. A posse? How cool, do I get a shiny star to pin on my pocket?

    Sorry to hear that you’ve been so badly treated. And I agree with the others, it’s just the facts ma’am.

    Visiting on my NaComLeavMo travels.

  5. I just came over from Nacomleavmo, and couldn’t help but read all you story, then all your recent posts, and I’m outraged for you, it’s disturbing. how can they loose an embryo? I know that your not the suing type, but, how can you not? A lot of people pay enormous amounts of money to cycle there because of their reputation…. yet they lost your embryo?? I’m outraged for you. It can’t be libelous if your stating the truth.

  6. Isn’t this NaComLeavMo so great! I love all the comments I am getting, it is so awesome!

    Sorry about your experience!

    Here from NaComLeavMo

  7. Visiting from NaComLeavMo (though this is the first post where I have actually said it!)

    Thank you for chronicling your story and sharing it with us. I am so sorry for all you have been through and honestly quite scared for myself. I am still early in my TTC journey and don’t know if I have your strength.

    As for the law firm letterhead – go for it!! You have to use those perks if you got ’em!

  8. Thanks for all the kind words you left in my comments today. I defintely was the one who gave the update to Mel. Technically I’m your Clicker, but I had been reading (lurking) long before that. Somehow, somewhere, I found a link to your articles and I have been reading since then, even though I’ve only recently started commenting.

  9. Came over from NaComLeavMo. Just read through your last couple of posts and all I can say is that I am so sorry that this has happened. It just sucks.

    Even if you choose not to sue, I’d recommend that you make formal complaints to the state medical board and any societies that the labs are members of.

  10. Good Lord – that is incredible. I am just an ordinary blogger taking part in NaComLeavMo and there are just so many sad, uplifting, funny, amazing stories about the whole infertility issue.

    But this one…takes the biscuit…I can not believe that happened to you. You may not be suing people, but you’ve got to do something!

  11. Ha, I love the word “posse.” 🙂
    I’m also loving NCLM! I will have to come back for more on your story!

  12. I just want to comment that you’ve intrigued me with this newspaper story stuff and so I’m going to bookmark your site and come back later (after I’ve left 2 more comments and returned 1!).

    Good luck w/ whatever it is that happened!

    (here from NCLM)

  13. I’m here from NCLM, and I just read your story! I can not believe the horror of this happening to you! I don’t blame you at all for using their name.. and I think it’s reprehensible that they won’t even return your phone call!

    I will be checking back on your story to find out what happens next and wish you the best of luck with them.

  14. I’m really sorry to hear about your experience. that’s horrible. who knows exactly what happened during transport. was there a reason for not going back to cornell for ET?

    even though cornell holds a very special spot in my heart what occured is incredibly tragic. I hope you get some answers.

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