Posted by: katedaphne | December 24, 2007

Raindrops on roses

This started out as an email to a friend and then I realized it was more like a blog post, so I decided to multitask it a bit, sort of like changing the lede and submitting the same article to different magazines.

Well, this week has been pretty sucky. I have been spontaneously bursting into tears since Thursday. But at least I have had a little time to get used to the idea before Christmas. I was not Miss Sunshine at my  brother’s Christmas Eve party tonight, but I went, and I made it through.

On the way home the radio played the song, “My Favorite Things,” from “The Sound of Music” but which is also sort of a Christmas song. I started singing the lyrics out of habit because I’ve known them by heart since about the time I could speak, and then the refrain — “When I’m feeeeeling bad, I simply remember my favorite things, and then I don’t feel so bad.” And just for a moment, I didn’t feel so bad.

I’ll take my moments when they come b/c they are few and far between.

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things

When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I’m feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don’t feel so bad

Now the Yule Log is on television, Christmas carols are playing, and I am going to go pretend I am a normal person for a little while.

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Responses

  1. Kate,
    I am shattered for you. There really isn’t anything I can say to make it hurt less. I have been following your journey as I spoke with you this summer about the baby born in Florida that was possibly adoptable. If you remember I was about to start a cycle myself and of course it wasn’t a positive outcome. I, like you was getting positive hpts then come beta day it was already negative. So, I’ve had 2 chemical pregnancies-YUCK!! The encompassing joy then so swiftly taken away. I completely understand the fury, rawness, despair, sadness, unfairness of this all. Please, if you need anything let your mil know or if you still have my number feel free to phone. Hoping your Christmas Day was somewhat okay. Take care.
    Stephanie

  2. You know you were on my mind today. Amid the bows and ribbons and behind the smiles, my mind drifted to you and Mike. MUCH LOVE
    Joey

  3. I’m glad you had a few moments of feeling normal. I could just hear you belting out that happy song.


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