Posted by: katedaphne | December 11, 2007

Home is where the fur is

Whew, we are home and very glad of it. I travel as often as money allows, and I love it, and I love New York, but I swear I have never been as homesick as I was this trip. Maybe because all the touristy stuff had already BTDT, and a trip for IVF naturally makes you think of home and family. And I missed my DOGS so much!!! I need to get some pics posted here of them. Missed the kitties too but in a quieter way. We were actually counting down: 30 hours till puppy. 20 hours till puppy. Not that he’s a puppy anymore but that’s what we call the little one, because he’s little. Joyful reunion, lots of jumping and barking and warm wet kisses.

Transfer Sunday went great. Had a super nice doc, Dr. Chung. I’d heard he was wonderful and he was. He did his residency in Tampa, he told me after finding out where I live, and he recommended an OB in the area since we don’t have one yet. He asked how I was doing about halfway through, and I was like, “Oh fine, I do this all the time.” Dr. Chung, the ultrasound tech and the embryologist all laughed. After it was over, Dr. Chung told me he hoped it hadn’t hurt. (It hadn’t. Not that I love a speculum or anything, but there was no actual pain involved.) I was impressed he even cared. Most docs act like if something hurts it is a moral failing on your part.

We transferred four embies. They had 8, 8, 9, and 11 cells.

Dr. C. told me they take 2-3 days to implant, so I hope that somewhere over the Eastern seaboard as I was flying home, one or two of them dug in and made a nice little nest good for about nine months.

I always feel a ton of axiety on retrieval day — anesthesia, the IV, the pain, the fear that there will be no good eggs… Then the couple of days after ER, I feel empty. No more stims, no more eggs in me. I feel weirdly lonely. But I love transfer day. After it was over and they started to wheel me back to recovery, I felt a tangible sensation of euphoria spread over me. I’m sure I had this ridiculous grin all across my face. I just love getting the embies back. I kept looking at the picture of them and trying to guess which was our girl and which was our boy. Actually, in my mind I was using their names but I haven’t decided if I want to publish the names here. But in my mind I always think of them by name.

We have actually had our name spicked out, more or less, since before we even started ttc. The girl name we are totally set on. Well, I am, and Mike is fine with it. The boy name has evolved a bit from time to time but I think we are set now.

I know it is bad bad BAD to give the embryos names. It only sets you up for even more sadness later when things don’t go your way. But they are not just blobs of goo to me, they are people. Very small ones, to be sure, but people nonetheless. And people have names.

Anyway — have two blood draws for luteals and then beta is on Dec. 20. I intend to start POAS-ing this weekend. I don’t like the negatives, but I am pretty good at denial. And if one is positive — well, I don’t want to miss a single day of that happiness.

Nine days to go….

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Responses

  1. I love transfer day, too, because it represents the possible. It also usually means a few days off of the unending stress until obsession (or in my case morbid certainty that the cycle has failed) takes over.

    Glad you’re home.

    J

  2. I am right there with you about transfer day. Even if it does work you know for at least a day or two your body is caring for our babies.

    We always named our embryos until this last cycle. I don’t think it is a bad idea at all.

    Did you have anything left to freeze?

    GL!


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