Today, St. Petrick’s Day, is the two-year anniversary of our first IVF BFN. What a soul-crushing day that was. I still remember being so hopeful during our first IVF. I was in shock that we needed it, but had not really internalized the fact that many IVFs do not work. I was doing IVF, I would get pg, and nine months later I’d have a family. Even though I’d POAS during my 2ww, I thought it was just “too early.” I was so innocent. I had even told my husband I didn’t want to do another IVF because it had been so hard on me physically. Mentally and emotionally, too.
But I quickly realized nothing was as hard on me as the idea of being childless forever. The idea of being a never family.
I very quickly came to realize I would be doing IVF again, and again if necessary. I never did realize I’d still be doing them two years later.
I wonder what life will be like two years from today. I am afraid to think about it.
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